Friday, March 20, 2009

The title is true

This isn't a diet.

Because let's be honest, the last time you said you were on a diet, you freaked out, cleaned out your cabinets, avoided eating out, vowed to hit the gym 7x a week, and scared off your friends when you started to whine about how happy hour was going to make you fat.

Then you had a bad day at work/fight with your boyfriendmomsisterbestfriendchildboss/got bad news/had a craving.

Suddenly, margaritas, chips and queso, and that one chocolate bar you hid under your bed just in case happen. All at once. You wake up feeling bloated, probably hung over, and like the past two weeks of starvation were just not worth it.

And you're right. It isn't worth it. Because I've been there, I've done that, and it sucks.

I have tried weight loss pills (they make you pee), boot camp (5 am is mean when you don't like your coach), the all fruit/veggie 1 week flush (wait til a head of lettuce is in your stomach and tell me you feel good. that's called gas.), and everything in between.

I remember being happiest when I was teaching aerobics 4x a week. I was training for a marathon and walking miles a day to go to class. My mom used to tell me that she was thinnest in college, walking across UT's campus with her art portfolio and surviving on eggs and toast...or when she was carrying me around in my toddler years.

The bottom line is that we all grow up to the point where unless you are a fortuante few, you have a full time job that requires at a minimum 40 hours. You have a family (or two cats and a boyfriend). You have things you do (volunteering...or drinking with the girls...or both). Exercise, nutrition, these things are not built into our daily lives anymore.

We yearn to look like airbrushed models. We want to be as slender as the freakish mannequins who wear the clothing we try on. We are inspired by biggest loser and the women on the cover of those stay at home mom magazines who "lost half their body weight--you can too!"

We are not those people. At least, I am not.

I am a real person.

I live in a city with quick, amazing Indian food down the street. My favorite college pizza place is on my commute home. Starbucks is something that happens as an office escape, less as a mornin pick me up.

I work 40+ hours a week. I won't exaggerate and say I work anymore than 50 on a normal week, my heart goes out to those who do. But I am busy. I have two nights a week that are blocked out for non negotiable extra curriculars. Both of them happen right after work and usually involve quick, fat food.

I can't drive to my gym because this city sucks with parking, so just getting to and from the gym takes about 30 minutes in total. When it rains, how fun does that sound?

I pansy out easily on the gym. When my gym buddy cancels, I cancel on myself.

I have a boyfriend who only outweighs me by 10 pounds and can eat just about as much fat as he'd like and never gain a pound...and I like to cook for him/me/us.

But then a strange thing happened. The economy crashed and my boyfriend and I had a long conversation about the economy. We talked about how Americans, for how concerned we are about money, are very uneducated about money and money matters. We are too polite to talk about it, study it, learn it.

The same is true for food. We are very sensitve about what we eat, how we look, and our weight. Let's talk about it. Let's get real. If you are that concerned about it, then you should be studying.

So I bought a book called Volumetrics. I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. And I just wanted to see if while Chadd was researching the economy and money management, if I could research food, consumption, etc.

So began the great experiement. I'm in the throws of my third week, 4 pounds down, never hungry, and only truly tempted and denied once.

The bottom line: I still love and eat chocolate.

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