I have passed a milestone. I have survived eating on the job.
I'm not at my normal office today, but I am at work.
I'm helping out with a special project, so I'm with a different team that I'm very comfortable with. Since they've all been working late hours and long days, they've been given the luxury of ordering food on the company. They definately deserve it, they all look a little too tired.
Regardless, this is my first major obstacle:
The office sponsored lunch.
The lead up has been daunting:
I had to be here this morning at 6:30 am. This means that I had to be up and out of the apartment around 6 am...not conducive to making my own lunch. Plus, I got my baking spree out last night for my team: blueberry muffins and brownies, so I wasn't about to carry anything else.
So when my senior manager footed the bill for lunch...from MatchBox (the most amazing pizza in downtown DC)...I was forced to make a choice. In this economy, you take free food. That wasn't the issue. The issue was: shop from the list of gourmet salads...or the list of gourmet, wood burning stove cooked pizzas. This was an epic battle.
I literally had to leave the office to settle my mind out on it. I took a lap, made some copies, sent a fax and came in...still unsure. I could literally smell the pizza.
The hard thing here is that even though I KNEW I should have the salad, I wanted that pizza. And I found myself justifying it. It's a thin pizza, I'm going to go to the gym later (I'm not, I have a date with Chadd's big TV and netflix tonight). But finally I realized, thanks to the support of a coworker, who suggested that we split a tiny pizza and get salads, that I could cope with the salad option.
I also had a stroke of genius and said to myself "you're always craving something then you always regret it, but you never feel the other way around." So I went with the grilled tuna salad. My dad has always told me, "if you're still hungry, we will order more."
I do regret that it was too small. I never say no to more greens. I did have that piece or two of pizza. Very thin crust, and was it cheating? I'm not sure, but I don't feel guilty...because when I got to that pizza, I was as full and satisfied as I could be (with a salad) and I made a healthy compromise.
I'm a very vindictive person with myself. I get irritable if I've withheld too long...and what do vindictive people do? They cheat. So there's always a balance to strike. Flirt, but don't cheat. Indulge, but don't over indulge. And it's a thin line. About as thin as the crust on my pizza.
Some history on me and salads:
For a while, Chadd and I were having a salad before dinner. This was back when I was working from home. I could start dinner casually while responding to emails and making calls, then move into a salad while dinner cooked. Now, I still spend time cooking, but most of it has to be up front to get dinner out, then make lunch for the next day (I told you, I love to cook). I always found when eating a salad prior, I ate less than half of what I normally did. I need to reinstitute this.
- When you get home from the grocery or when you go to make salad next, chop enough for three salads, bag it up or put it in tupperware. If you do it while you're already chopping, you won't go out of your way. Then a salad is literally throwing things together.
My new motto?
Eat the salad first.