Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Withdrawal Is Hard and Other Diet Struggles

I know I've talked about doing the Whole 30 before. I've cycled...twice? I've definitely taken "whole30 inspired" weeks to clear my head. When I get the chance, I try to stay close to a Whole 30-ish diet. Mostly - veggies, protein, healthy fats, and limited fruits. Why? It works - for me.

Everyone is different, but I can always hear my dad saying in reference to every diet fad that's ever come across the board: eat your veggies and meat. If it doesn't come in a package, it's probably good for you. Eat around your plate.

The program I'm following for these four weeks is pretty close to Whole30 with a couple of grains thrown in (oatmeal here and there, some quinoa). Something like The Zone meets Whole 30.

If you've done a Whole30 before, you may be familiar with the "What To Expect" timeline.

I was naive and thought I'd be JUST FINE this time around.

So, in case you're following a diet similar to this one, let me give you the first week days update:

Days 1: Everything is awesome. You are a superior human. Look at you, being responsible for your eating habits. Clean, good, real food! And...my gosh, there sure is a lot...of this food. Are you SURE I need all of this? Ok, well, if you insist, you say as you try to cram that last piece of sweet potato down your throat.

Day 2: I hate egg whites. And deli meat. Sure, you miss that peanut butter filled pretzel bite snack you get in the afternoon, but only for a few minutes and once you shove the remaining pieces of that bell pepper in your mouth, you're really full. This will be easy. Except for egg whites, which you have learned you hate.

Day 3: Creativity Bonus. You ace the egg white omelet and feel the need to apply for Top Chef. Pork knuckles and coco puffs? After making the egg white omelet look like something from a Michelin Star restaurant* - you'll win, hands down. Plus, that boring chicken breast - paired with avocado and salsa and some leafy greens - viva el pollo! Shaw Bijou my butt, Chez Rommel is ready for business.

Day 4: I've been hit by a truck. You sleep for nine and a half hours. You wake up and while you can't go back to sleep, why does it feel like every bone in your body weighs a million pounds. That pool workout you had planned? There's literally no way. You make it out of bed for five hours and lay down on the couch. You pray you never have to move again. Three hours later, you can move. Kind of. But going to see your favorite artist in the entire world play live with your best friend feels like you have to climb Everest. Food sounds gross.

Go to concert and rock out anyway. Sit until show starts because zzzz
Day 5: Second truck coming through. You sleep for nine hours. The world feels like it's under water when you wake up. You live through three hours of your day and fall asleep before carving pumpkins with your boyfriend. The cat thinks you are literally there for her sleeping comfort (and, let's face it, you are.) Working at the restaurant is akin to being killed slowly through rolling silverware.
You don't even care how terrible you look in this photo. How cute is that cat.
Day 6: It's not good. You're still tired and now you're sick. Please god let this end.

Day 7: Things are looking up. You wake up and man are you tired (but maybe it was 6 hours at the restaurant after a full day of work), but it's not nearly as bad as it was yesterday. In fact, you kind of happily eat your egg white omelet (avocados = bonus round) and your coffee tastes pretty good. You break the rules and step on the scale. 1.2 pounds down.

Next up - how to make your boring food not so boring.