More dreams than food

Good morning everyone.

It's a monday, and I guess that's about the best way to describe it. The past few weeks have been wrought with lack of exercise and indiscreminate eating. I couldn't care.

My best friend is in medical school right now and she and I have had a million conversations about eating right and having time to work out and feeling a million times worse about slipping up for a day/week/month than we do about feeling food for the one day/week/month that we did well.

Perhaps it's been my inability to care, or maybe it's that God loves me that much to know that this week is going to be hellish enough without weight gain. So he let me lose a pound.

By the mathematical rules of addition and subtraction, I would have gained weight. I probably ate more calories, and I know I burned fewer. I should have, be all accounts, gained weight.

This entry serves a few purposes:
1) to remind everyone that as much as we'd love to make weight loss black and white, we can't always account for that random gain or loss of a pound
2) stall from having to get my monday started.
3) talk about something entirely different.

And now for something completely different.

I mentioned a while ago that I've started my own business and that I was excited.

Words probably dont' do that justice because now that I've gotten to a point of pain with my job, and this is my way out. I think a lot about what I'll do when I quit working here. Rodan + Fields will likely be about a 20 hour a week requirement, which is fine by me. Chadd and I talked for a bit about grad school this weekend and I determined that when R+F takes off, I might decide to go back, if I want. I know I want to get my degree at some point, but now that I have another way out of my current job, I no longer feel the need to go as soon as possible.

I day dream a lot about how the future will look. For your viewing pleasure (and for a break from reading about food), here it is:

8:30: wake up, stretch, feed kitties
9:00: depending upon weather, go for walk or run, maybe make it to the gym
9:30-10: return home depending upon duration of outting
10:30: showered, at my desk, email opened
12:00: Several emails, a few phone calls, and some training review later, I have lunch.
1:00: Present the business
3:00: Return home
4:00: Finish reading the paper, my afternoon coffee, start thinking about dinner.
etc.

The reality of that schedule is that this is what will happen. If Chadd is still working his insane hours, my days will really look like this:

11:00: Roll out of bed, open laptop and feed cats
11:30: Shower
1:00: After some kind of breakfast/lunch combo, drive chadd to work
2:00: Present business to someone
3:30: Return home
4:30: finish watching daytime TV
5:00: Start thinking about dinner
2:00: wonder where my day went, wait for chadd to come home, fall asleep immediately once he gets back.

I really want the first lifestyle. I think I'd probably work at a gym part time to get experience in gym management. But for now, these are all hopes and dreams and projections when I really don't know how things will go. I believe that we will have incredible success, that this lifestyle is possible and that freedom is possible next year.

I am making the promise to myself that in pursuit of this dream, bad days, set backs, and discouragement will not change my mind.

http://loveyourface.myrandf.com is my ticket out of here.

Next time, I promise to talk about food.