For the first time in a long time, I finally had a full thought. Not like--I finished a sentence or completed work...I just finally had a clear head this morning while on the plane. Things felt manageable. I know that sounds almost impossible to comprehend, but I've been doing myself a disservice. I've been running myself ragged.
I fall asleep in less than 5 minutes every night, always feel hungover when I wake up (booze or not), and I can't remember the last time I relied on my water bottle as much as I do my cell phone.
In short: I've taken a pretty serious fall from health.
Part of the problem is that I've put it in last place--I work out a lot, but it's a lot easier to pick up crappy food for lunch, or swing by BGR with Chadd at night.
But for the next three days, I'm at home in Orlando with my folks and while I had to work most of the day, this afternoon is the picture of exactly what I need:
After I finished up work, I threw on my running shorts, and headed out with the intention of 4 miles...which turned into 6 after I realized I was really here to relive my time in Orlando since my parents are moving. So, I ran down to my high school and back (which, apparently, is 6 miles), I came home with the dream of jumping in the pool, but because it was freezing, I wound up reading on a deck chair in the sun.
When I trained for the marine corps marathon the first time around, I worked here over the summer and between the law firm and O'boys BBQ, I would run to Trinity and back. What a surreal feeling--I saw the benches where Chadd and I used to sit, the classrooms I used to go to, the giant rock in campus, etc. It's like revisiting a much loved book, but not at all like I used to be a chubby yearbook editor who ran her fastest mile (without stopping!!) in 15 minutes. To put that in perspective, at the four courts four, I did my 2 mile split in 7:28.
Mom, Dad, and I sat outside after I showered and had wine, ate cheese and crackers, and unwound.
One of the biggest parts of health (aside from nutrition) that I have been ignoring is my mental health. I'm overwhelmed, over committed, and over stressed. I've had a number of friends tell me lately that I need to learn to say no to activities and find a way to enjoy doing nothing.
It's not been in my nature to not do something/be fully committed. I'm OCD to the max in many ways; I need to switch focus when I get bored (which I do easily). It's why I like my job; if I hate what I'm doing, I can switch to a different client project then go back when I'm not tired of it.
But I need to learn to relax because otherwise, I will implode. Chadd will tell you that the warning signs are there; I've been short on temper, moody, depressed, and prone to forgetting things more than usual.
So. Here's the taking care of yourself. Trying to go back to four bottles of water a day, and thinking before I eat.
And by the way--how do I manage to hit the gym as often as I do? Make yourself your own client. Would you break an appointment with a client? Nope.
My gym schedule:
Monday: Running Group
Tuesday: Teach Spin
Wednesday: Morning gym
I get into trouble Wednesday through Saturday because Im not required to be anywhere. Everything else, I'm paid to do or I do with friends. I suppose that's the real trick. Having outside non-negotiable responsibility.
It also never hurts to have a billion-ty races scheduled...one of them being Ragnar New England, which I am so stoked about. Boston, here we come.
So, back to the bottom line...I need your advice. How do I make myself take time off? Suggestions needed.