Sunday, November 4, 2012

Hashtag, Eating My Words (The Crossfit Story)

After a many month dedication to all things 7[2].3 related (yes, 72.3, I had an extra 2 miles on my bike course), I have been burnt out on all things swimming, biking, and even running.

Related: in a crazed state, I bought a Living Social deal for a month at Crossfit Dupont. Why? Chadd has recently taken up Crossfit to supplement his Ninja Warrior training and really enjoys it, so I agreed to try it for a month in some sort of reparation for being absent for so many months of training. The results were surprising. In fact, I did not expect to be writing this blog post.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.
As many of you know, I've always been fairly "anti-box" - not because I think there is something wrong with Crossfit - but because most people who are *seriously* into Crossfit had a thing against those of us with a penchant for endurance sports. And frankly, I have no time for those people. I didn't even have time for those people who were pro-endurance sports while I was training. And have you ever had to deal with a Crossfit Bro? Spare me. Those are the guys who made it their purpose in high school to tease me for being less-than athletic (how you like me now, assholes.)

But Chadd has loved it, assured me that the coaches knew what they were talking about, and that it would be, at the very least, a challenge.

Game on.

I signed up for the foundations class - a 2x/week for 3 weeks course on appropriate technique and basic movements. Class was great, I knew after a couple of the intro courses that this would be a good fit for me...but then I skipped for about a week due to attack of the angry ankle and too much work. But, I finally manned up and after the hurricane kept me cooped up for 2 days, Chadd and I went to a Tuesday night workout which looked like this:

- 3x5 Squats

- 150 pushups*

*For every time you have to rest without being in pike position, sprint down and back on the basketball court

Dear.God. Yes, I did the push-ups on my knees. And when that started to fail (somewhere around 120), I switched to the belly-ups. I did a lot of sprints to stay loose (maybe every 25?) But I did it in around 9:30.

Because this was so much fun, I decided that because I had to stay late at work and miss track on Wednesday, that I'd just go right ahead and hit up Crossfit. WHY NOT? (wait for it....wait for it....)

Power Clean and Split Jerk

- 50 Ball Slams
- 50 Double Unders* (or 100 extra high jump ropes if you are a like me and can't link double unders)

*Every time you break on double unders, do another 5 ball slams or 10 more if you are doing singles.

So. I was already in some pretty brutal pain from what felt like a couple billion pushups. I knew I was in trouble when I started to feel faint during the warm up on Wednesday. Yes, the warm up. Around ball slam 30, my vision went dark in places. Warning sirens are going off in my head. I am 2 minutes into this workout, y'all. In my mind's eye, I saw this headline:


It took me 4:09 to do Wednesday's workout. Guys. Less than 5 minutes (not bragging about this time, making the point that it only took 4 minutes and 9 seconds to bring me to destruction). I was sure I was dying. Yes, I ordered the Humble pie over here.

I woke up the next morning and I couldn't lift my upper body. My arms would not support my weight. Putting on clothes was impossible. Getting my contacts in? Y'all, I couldn't touch my face.

It is Sunday night and I can still feel soreness hiding in places through my upper body. It's seriously awesome.

I was practically high on Wednesday night when I got home.

Though I knew I would not survive a Thursday morning workout, I still hit refresh a billion times on the CFD page to see what the workout would be. We call this "signs you may have a problem."

Yes. I am very well aware that I made a 180-degree change on my opinion of Crossfit and because when I'm wrong, I try to admit it, you have this blog post.

But why do I like Crossfit so much? Here ya go:

1) I'm a masochist. The faster I can reach my physical end and the more often I can be sore from a tough workout - the better. It takes me multiple hours with my sportz to hit that kind of pain. Crossfit? Apparently, 4 minutes.

2) I love working out with Chadd. As someone so aptly put it, "So...the point between a half Ironman and Ninja Warrior is...Crossfit?" I guess so. And I love it. Chadd and I never get to work out together on something we both enjoy. Even mud runs are compromises to some extent. I've spent a lot of lonely hours at the gym or training in the past year; to spend some time together is wonderful.

3) I suck at it. Stay with me here. I love seeing something that I didn't think I could do, and then doing it. Or working my ass off to do it. I have a slightly "disturbing" past with this type of thing. Never done a road race? Let's sign up for a marathon! New to triathlons? How about a half IM! I am addicted to fear. And as Coach T says, fear is a powerful motivator. I know Chadd is grateful that this was the new fear endeavor instead of a full Ironman (for now).

4) I used to do this. Kind of. Before I was primarily obsessed with endurance sports, I was a personal trainer and a group exercise instructor. BodyPump was a huge time suck, but it was a lot of fun. I do enjoy weight lifting and body mechanics. Abdominal surgery just made me forget how much I had enjoyed it.

5) New Friends! Everyone has been really nice. The girls get to workout together and, clearly, this leads to talking. The girls have been really supportive and friendly and it turns out, a fun number of them are also runners. Commence blah blahblah running marathon blahblah running blahblah which races blahblahblah let's run together blahblahblah.

So. I take it back. Crossfit isn't evil. Or, maybe it is, but it's the right kind of evil. Though, if I ever say "GET AFTER IT" in regards to my workout without irony, you have my permission to punch me.

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