Collective Running Concerns, Part 2: Fear of Being Judged

The next installation of Running Fears is an important one to me...mostly because I just remembered how scary this fear can actually be as I was getting comfortable swimming with you semi-aquatic people out there. So, enjoy...

2) Are other runners are judging me? Will people laugh at me? I’m so slow, are the running articles/clothes/shoes/accessories/products even made for people like me? 

No. No. Yes.

This was basically the resounding follow up fear to problem one. I have a whole lot of theories on this, but I think the best and most simple way to say it is that this fear comes out for all of us whenever we do something new. Remember when I was learning to swim laps? I seriously over-analyzed my plain black bathing suit like it held the secret to life.

We’re afraid to be judged while we’re learning. It’s my opinion that a lot of runners are Type A personalities because we like to be in charge and in control…but we’re also intensely afraid of criticism. I’m a very outgoing person, but if you put me in a room with a new task or skill to learn, I’m a shrinking violet until I can “own” being a newbie (talk about managing expectations). Running is an easy activity to pick up because it requires a pair of shoes (and depending on who you are, those are optional). And body glide. Trust me on the body glide.

“Anybody can be a runner. We were meant to move. We were meant to run.” – Bill Rodgers

It’s easy to judge yourself when you see other people out on the road. When I started running, I taught myself. I mean, clearly I knew HOW to run, but I didn’t know pacing, or breathing, or form, or any of those Runner Insider Club secrets. I watched svelte, even-breathed people sail by me while I chugged, red-faced and panting down the road. It’s easy to belittle yourself when it comes to a task without a set goal. You can win a tennis match, but you’ll always be in pursuit of a faster mile/better form/new PR. It’s the beauty and the terror of running. There is no finish line.

I don’t know a single seasoned runner who has ever looked at a new runner with disdain. I usually can’t tell (unless your nipples are bleeding through your shirt – dead giveaway because you’ll only make that mistake once). If I do see someone chugging along, looking pained and out of breath, I mentally cheer them on.

Generally speaking, people aren’t going to laugh at you. Runner’s laugh WITH each other. Case in point – I have a tendency to barf during Ragnar. Might have something to do with the temptation to each 3 sloppy joes and ice cream THEN run 8 miles. While I was throwing up for the millionth time behind a dumpster, I couldn’t help but laugh with my teammates.

Even that famous photo of the runner literally crapping themselves…sure, maybe non runners are laughing, but actual runners are going “oh shit…” [literally]. Like I said, we talk about poop a lot.

And yes. All the fun gadgets, clothes, and accessories for runners are made for all entry levels. May I strongly recommend The Stick? And Body Glide.  A lot of Body Glide.

And then I slept for 12+ Hours

Saturday's workout(s) were AWESOME.

I'm finding it easier and easier to get up near the buttcrack of dawn. Maybe I really am a morning person - who knew!

I met up with the distrance running group that Coach T trains at Peirce Mill. I've never been there, even though it's ridiculously close to my house, and had first run nerves. One of the traps I get into is not trying new routes. It's a lot easier, mentally, to have mental landmarks. But, this whole triathlon thing is most certainly about trying new things.

When I run on my own, I usually clock around an 8:40-9 minute mile time. This is slightly deceptive since I tend to take a walk break every 2-3 miles (I chalk this up to when typical water stops show up in races). But Saturday's run was 10 miles, averaging a 9:30-9:40 pace (no faster) and with the goal of not stopping. That was a mental barrier waiting to be destroyed.

I got to meet Victoria in person, which was really cool. She's a blogger celebrity and my own personal hero (especially for her swim prowess). She very kindly offered to run with me and not let me get lost on the trails. And off we went. It was a gorgeous day for a run, especially along Rock Creek. We finished up around 1:35 (she went on to do another 2 miles): average mile time: 9:30 - bingo.

I had my first back to back workout scheduled for Saturday, so I got home, ate some pretzels (yaay salt!) and headed down to the pool. What I didn't know was that from 9-11 at the pool is basically kids-a-palooza. Incredibly frustrated, I left, intending to call my coach and ask how to fix this situation. I had plans in Baltimore, then I needed to be available all the rest of the evening to support Chadd for the Ninja Warrior stuff. Thankfully, I had my times wrong on my Baltimore plans, so I walked back over to the Y and pulled off a very bad 45 minutes in the pool. I started out frustrated. My form felt bad, I felt slow (and was certainly the slowest in the pool, save for the gentleman in lane 3 learning to swim) and it was crowded and I felt like a huge inconvenience to everyone.

Then I remembered the crucial swimming tip Victoria had given me: look down.

This sounds like an incredibly easy tip and one that I'm sure many of you have been doing without thinking. This was a huge lightbulb moment for me. My form improved dramatically. I still struggled with the endurance side of swimming, but at least my butt wasn't 6 inches lower than the rest of my body.

I guess this is the equivalent of when someone tells me they're struggling with running and I have 3 guesses on  form problems that, when fixed, dramatically improve the person's experience.

In case you were wondering, those tips are:
1. Run neutrally. I see a lot of people slumped forward, which cuts off your lung capacity. Sit up.
2. Tuck your hips under. This should take some pressure off your knees and engage your glutes. Big muscles give you a big hand.
3. Relax. Arms should swing naturally, shoulders away from the ears, look ahead.

I was surprised with how great I felt Saturday after both workouts. I jumped in the shower and felt awesome driving out to see some of my favorite Ragnarians (def: people who run Ragnar).

We gorged on wings and bbq: (seriously, do yourself a favor and go to Kloby's in Columbia)

Happy Ragnarians were we:

I jumped back in the car to Alexandria (my muscles weren't really happy with the hour plus I spent in the car). After watching Chadd do ninja stuff, we headed home. I managed to eat a little pizza (ok, a lot of pizza), and have precisely 1 beer before passing out at the amazing hour of 9:30. I had promised Chadd we'd watch more X-Files, but instead, I slept for 12 hours. Bless his heart, he didn't wake me and instead let me sleep until I woke up at 10 the next morning. Talk about starting a rest day off the right way.

Of course, why would one really rest on a rest day? I spent the majority of yesterday getting an unintended workout: Ikea. There's nothing like walking what feels like miles through DIY furniture and modular living land then spending 3+ hours in heavy lifting mode. But, the condo is almost re-done. Pictures when it's done, I promise!

First Day, New Changes

Today is the day to start new things.  At least in my world.

I got up this morning at quarter of 7 (despite a raging headache an a sleepless night...I guess that's what nerves do to you), my coffee had already brewed.  I had a banana and a piece of amazing homemade bread that my awesome dad made for me while I was at home, and walked around the apartment getting ready.

Today is my first day at my new job.  Technically, office hours are 8:30 to 6, but since I have to leave early sometimes to teach, I've decided to start getting here around 8.  I enjoyed my car ride over (though I'll likely hate the metro ride home since Chadd needs the car to get home), and I've been here for about 20 minutes so far.  

I actually have an office (with a door) and a big desk all to my own, a huge window at my back that overlooks the courtyard.  Life is feeling pretty good, to be honest.

I've decided that this is the time to make some big changes (though they're really not big in the scheme of things).  I'm going to get up an hour or so before I have to leave for the office (I only hit snooze 2x this morning as opposed to the typical 5-8 times), I will eat breakfast (especially since my RD is strongly urging me to do that), and I will take time to get ready the night before work so I'm not frantic the morning of.

Essentially, I'm going to start taking care of myself, pacing myself, and making this a lifestyle, not just another hellish project to get through.  Of course, that would be well and good if I had actually gone to bed early last night and slept well.  I stayed up way too late cooking (made lemon angel food cupcakes for my office...I know, suck up to the extreme, but they're only 140 calories!) and trying to relieve stress.  Then I tossed and turned all night.  I'm not actually sure I ever got deep sleep.  I wasn't too irritated since I was basically expecting to not sleep well.  I actually had a nightmare that I'd get to work and have nothing to do.  

Two hours later, my day feels slow mostly because I'm not usually at the office until 9 and adding another hour to my morning makes it seem like it's taking forever.  But at 8:30, my boss came in, seemed pleased to see me here already, then we all (three of us, 2 others on the phone) had a meeting, then we shot the breeze for a bit and 10am comes around and I have some reading material and a small task that will take me about a half day as soon as I have the info (likely this afternoon).

So far, so good.  I like where I am and if I hadn't had so much coffee this morning, I'd probably be 100% on top of the world.  

In other news....

My parents got me the most amazing cookbook when I was home.  It's the new Cooking Light Cooking Through the Seasons cookbook:

I tried three (yes, three) recipes last night.  And judging from how good they all are, I'm going to go ahead and say this cookbook is a must have in any kitchen.  

I'm having the Fresh Pea and Mint Soup for lunch with a small side salad and, later, for a snack, the Garlicky Lima Bean Spread (don't judge the limas, they're pretty good when ground into a paste and infused with garlic) and then, of course, the Lemon Angel Food Cupcakes which have so far passed the office taste test and made it into the email welcoming me to the firm.

It's a good day.  

A New Start!

Alright, I feel like I've been doing a lot of apologizing lately for being a bad blogger.  So one more final apology for neglecting the blog.  I've even been building up a ton of Tuesday links!

I said a few weeks ago that I might have big news to share, and I finally do and can finally share it.

Last Friday I gave my two weeks to my current employer because I received an offer from a PR firm in Northern Virginia who works with a wide array of clients, but really have a niche with the health/fitness/life sciences, medical, bio-tech folks. 

This is a big change in my life--I'm going from a big, international, very structured consulting firm to a small, informal PR firm.  I couldn't be more excited about it--my background is in public relations and clearly I have a love of all things health and fitness.  My new bosses joked about me leading Friday morning yoga, which I would never put my coworkers through...

Regardless.  I can't tell you what I'll be doing, because I'm not sure myself.  What I can tell you is that it will be different and it will be a step closer to what I love to do.

Tomorrow I promise, an actual health and fitness post!

Frozen Food Review (2)

Wow, am I behind.  I feel like I have a billion posts that I need to write...here's what will be coming this week (if I don't get a chance today to write much)

1) Review of another Amy's frozen meal product (this one is awesome.)
2) My project with J (NYC) for med school
3) An overview of my weekend getting BodyPump certified (holy moly, I can't fully extend my arms right now)

I've also got another guest blogger/interview with a professional coming up soon--probably next Monday, so stay tuned and look for that!

Might as well get something off the checklist first--Let's talk about my frozen food quest.

Amy's Black Bean Tamale Verde

The Skinny:

Cal: 330

Fat: 10g

Carbs: 55g

Protein: 7g

Taste:

Amazing.  This was hearty, authentic to the taste of salsa verde, and not at all watery.  It was definitely a complex taste (not just corn meal and black beans).  I really enjoyed every bite of the whole thing.  It comes with one large tamale with a mixed vegetable (mostly corn and black beans) filling, a green sauce over it and Mexican rice on the side.  Delicious beyond belief.  I will most certainly buy it again ($4.50).  One of my coworkers actually said "Is that the Amy's tamale?  Man that thing is the best."  So it has a reputation!

Rating:

Presentation (1-10): 10.  Well laid out, colorful, I wanted to eat it frozen, if that says anything.

Taste (1-60): 55.  I always leave room for improvement (this was a tiny tiny bit too sweet for me) but it was awesome.

Satiety (1-15): 10.  I wanted more, for sure, at the end.  But it's hard to say if that was because I hadn't enough to eat throughout the day or if there wasn't enough food.  I think it was probably the former.

Nutritional Balance (1-15): 13.  Pretty good balance, especially for 330 calories--a lot of flavor and a good, solid meal.

Total Score (out of 100):

88

Correction: Registered Dietician

Back from my first appointment with my REGISTERED DIETICIAN. 

Remember This Post about the difference between an R.D. and a nutritionist?  Review!  I've been calling my awesome R.D. a nutritionist, which is incorrect, so disregard all that nutritionist talk :-)

Anyway, about the appointment:

She is awesome!  This appointment was a get to know you session--we talked about my basics--my weight, my goal weight, my heaviest weight (oh man) and my lowest weight (Chadd gets the award for causing that one when he broke up with me...5 years ago?) and what I considered my ideal weight (my goal weight...minus 5 pounds would be like *ideal* though probably hard to maintain).

Highlights:
1) A glass of wine a day is fine.  Two is not.  Noted, though I probably average that out, but it's a good target to keep in mind.
2) Until we meet again (in three weeks, post Colorado trip), I need to keep an "emotional" diary in conjunction with my food diary.  I'll be targeting how I feel--am I full?  am I hungry?  am I bored/tired/sad/happy? when I eat.  This, I'm sure, will be a HUGE wake up call.  I haven't really been tracking those patterns, and it will be interesting to see how those line up to my eating habits.
3) She said that my original body fat percentage measurement (remember that disasterous night?) is likely very inaccurate and gave me direction on how to make an appointment to use the BodPod.  This, guys, is literally one of the most exciting things to happen to me.  I have been DYING to find one of these.  Do yourself a favor and get a giggle out of the video at the bottom of this page: http://www.lifemeasurement.com/products/testProcBodpod  Seriously, watch it and tell me you don't crack up.  Houston, we have lift off.  Blast me into space.

I'm so psyched, can't wait to see what she has to say in 3 weeks!

Tomorrow--post about how I'm helping my NYC best friend, J, work on a project for med school!

Recipes and Nutritionists

Update on the recipe for the grilled chicken and salsa recipe in the Tuesday links--

Very good, I was missing the rosemary, but other than that, it turned out well. I needed to add salt, which is no surprise, but with a side of rice, it was a great meal. Just don't be like me and start making the recipe without reading the whole thing through (I'm terrible at doing that). I could have been doing two things at once, but instead I wound up doing one process (the marinating) only to find out I could have been roasting my tomatoes at the same time. Alas. Glad I had the Biggest Loser to keep me company while I cooked. The only beef I had with the whole thing was that it didn't reheat well. Though I've been having that issue with chicken lately. When I reheat it, the whole thing is tough and chewy and tastes...weird. Maybe I'm cooking it too much? Suggestions?

I was going to go for a run tonight, but our weather up here is drizzly and cold and I have my first appointment with my nutritionist at 7:45 tonight. I had to stay a tiny bit later at work than I expected, so by the time I got home, I was going to be cutting it close for running, showering, and walking down to GW. It's okay though. I was going to sleep in tomorrow, but instead I'm meeting up with my morning gym buddy to hit the weights, then my evening gym buddy after work to get in a run....oh, and Friday-Sunday I'll be working out intermittently through the days for my Les Mills Body Pump training!

Here are the concerns I plan to raise to my nutritionist:
1) If I am working out almost once a day, if not more than once a day, what staples do I need to have in my diet? What's the balance of nutrition that I need?
2) What kind of things should I add into my diet as I increase my endurance training for the 10 Miler and the Half Marathon (and eventually, the marathon)?
3) If I'm logging my calories very accurately every day (measuring food, etc.) and my body bugg is 90% accurate, then why am I not losing 2 pounds a week? Am I eating too much? Too little?
4) What kind of supplements should I be taking?

Here are my bets on what she'll say:
- I need to eat more
- I need to drink less wine (and/or prosecco)
- I need to cut the diet coke (currently at 1-2 cans a day)
- I need to eat more protein and find more calcium
- Iron is a must add to my supplements (which are currently at 0)

Update when I get home!