The Solo Run

I announced it on Twitter, and probably on Facebook the other week, but I don't think that trickled into my blog.

I pulled out of the Myrtle Beach Marathon.

This is the first race that I have ever DNS'ed (did not start).

The longer story behind my DNS is that I've been injured since the first week of January. Between foot surgery years ago and an already weakened left ankle, my left arch swelled up, my ankle was tight, every step I took was agony, likely because of over use, old shoes, or just...bad luck. As I started to heal with the help of rest, active release therapy, and a lot of foam rolling, the marathon drew closer and closer and all I had to show for it was one long run of 18 miles.

Coach T and I met, discussed that I would skip the tapering period before the marathon and, instead, ramp up. I felt like this was a doable strategy. I'd run marathons on stranger training regiments. I'm stronger, faster, more consistent...after Coach and I had dinner, I knew I could do it.

The night before I was supposed to head out for 12-13 miles, I was up the wall with stress, anxiety, and guilt over whether or not I should do the race. All I could hear in my mind was "Failure. You gave up. You are not an athlete. Liar. Fraud." I cried. I paced around the apartment. I couldn't tell if I was lying to myself about the pain and I was wimping out or if I was actually injured (spoiler alert: I was actually injured. But it was a unique experience to test physical pain versus mental denial).

In the end, I was so paralyzed by my inability to know how I would be healing that I had to make a decision. The stress of hoping to not be injured was driving me mad. My foot was still swollen, my ankle still tender, and crying over a 12 mile run was the final straw:

It was time for a mandated break.

In the end, this would have been my fourth marathon. I don't want to take the little vacation time I have, to only hopefully PR a marathon, much less finish it without injury. I didn't want to spend the energy I have left at the end of the day worrying about something that is supposed to be a joy...and, finally, I have some lofty goals for the end for the year (sub-6 half IM in Augusta). To do a marathon in February that may have lasting implications for my foot, right as training season revs up? It wasn't a sacrifice I was willing to make.

I'm still fighting to remember that injuries are things to be taken seriously, that there are other marathons, and that sometimes, NOT training is the smartest training decision that can be made.

But, my brain and determination are stubborn. So, to prove to myself that I haven't bitched out on training, I hit every workout this week AND I got up at 5:30 this morning to meet team RAGE for a 6:30 am run.

Rachel and Victoria had a much longer run on the calendars, but Coach T let me get to Saturday morning run early to go out with them as they begin to train to start a run in the early morning for race day.

The sun had not yet risen. And it was COLD. Like, 18 degrees according to my iPhone cold. I had my headlamp and LED flasher (who says I don't train for Ragnar?). I wore long spandex, shorts, a long sleeve tech shirt, thick tech bright orange jacket (thanks, Jason!), two pairs of gloves with hand warmers (thanks, Mom!), ear warmers and baseball hat. Bundled is an understatement. And I was still cold.

As we were getting ready to go, Coach jumped out of her car and rallied with us to run a quick 6 miles. What a gift. How amazing it was to spend a few miles running with Coach. When we hit 3, Coach ran ahead, Victoria and Rachel kept going on Beach while I turned around to head back to the car. Three miles, alone.

It's been a long time since I have run alone.

Aside I headed back, the sun was rising over Rock Creek, squirrels were stirring up the leaves, I saw a runner here or there, but mostly, I was alone.

I stopped my Garmin at one point to stand on a small bridge over the creek and watch the water rush past. Then I picked up the pace and held sub-9's the rest of the way home.

My confidence boosted by the lack of pain in my ankle and foot, the success of getting up early, the excitement of running with Coach...all of that seemed to churn up everything else on my mind in a cathartic manner.

I spent the better portion of my solo run back to the car pouring my heart out to the frigid air. I confessed my deepest thoughts and feelings to imaginary running companions. Perhaps, if you want to know the state of my heart, it is best to run long with me.

Running strips away a certain amount of armor that we all have. I am the most honest with myself in those moments and miles. I love myself the most; I forgive myself the most.

As I write this, my ankle and foot are tender, a little reminder that I made the right decision about the race, for which I am grateful. But the good news is that it all seems to be on the path to healing and I've overcome a huge mental obstacle for me - I am not a failure for pulling out of a race. I am learning to listen to my body. And there will be other marathons.

Rest Week and BIG NEWS!

I don't know if that adage about how if sharks stop swimming they die is true or not, but let's pretend that it is.

I am so a shark in my life. I've talked over and over again about my worst habit: all or nothing, but this week is definitely right there with the NOTHING part of that all or nothing lifestyle.

I should start with a positive announcement. I'm going to Miami next week - Tuesday - Friday early morning. Why, you ask? Oh, I was missing Florida and thought some beach time would be good...and....

CHADD GOT INVITED TO NINJA WARRIOR TRIALS.

My boss very graciously gave me the time off to go watch Chadd compete. I won't be able to tell you what happens at trials until NBC says we can, but I can tell you this - I am so proud of Chadd. If you want to know what true dedication is, all you have to do is look at Chadd. After Metro Dash last May, he went all out. Working out, training, finding opportunities to practice a sport that is still rare. This isn't running, biking, swimming, aerobics, crossfit...it's a specialized practice with huge risk (see: our 6+ hours in the ER one night) and skill beyond my wildest imagination. He's spent countless hours in the gym, beating up his hands, his shoulders, everything. I thought losing toenails was awful...you should see the blood on his hands and fingers after working on the cliff hanger. And it's not just dedication, Chadd has a natural gift for this. To see him go to Miami and be given the time off to go with him is just a dream.

Wish him well next week! When we can tell you what happened, we will!

Back to rest week...

It's been a trip to have a rest week. And, even more strange, is that I think of a rest week being 5 workouts. Monday, I had a second rest day. Tuesday morning, I had to give up a morning workout (pool) because of our crazy thunderstorm. I'm not 100% certain, but at least in Florida, if there is electricity in the air, indoor or out, the pool is closed. I slept in. I had to stay crazy late at work, but I got my swim in.

PAUSE.

I swam...wait for it. 1.25 miles. Y'all, that is my long swim EVER. And it felt GREAT! I left the pool at 9:30, feeling not like I'd gotten my ass kicked, but that I'd OWNED that swim. Is it possible that I'm becoming a confident swimmer? I think so.

Resume.

Yesterday, I was going to sneak in my cycle workout, but by the time I got to my track practice happy hour, I knew it wasn't happening.

Tonight, I did get my 45 minute restorative spin in and it felt good. 45 minutes on a bike these days = nada.

I did an important thing today, though. I took my beautiful bike into a bike shop in Ellicott City - CycleSport. The shop comes recommended from one of the guys in my coach's tri programs who knows the owner. Adam did me a huge favor and reached out to Paul, the owner, and asked him to check out my bike personally.

I rolled my bike in during my lunch break and Paul came to check it out. "Wow" he said "a LaPierre, I haven't seen one of these in a while." OH? I asked if this was a good or bad thing and he said that LaPierre's are a great bike...and that buying it for $500 on Craiglist, especially for the shape it's in and the upgrades the previous owner did...I made out like a bandit.

He's putting white SPD pedals on my bike (TO MATCH) and is going to see if he can track down some pink handlebar tape for me.

If your bike needs a tune up, head out to Ellicott City and ask for Paul. I trust him, my teammates trust him, and when I get my bike back, I know it's going to be in slick shape.

This week may not be the most balls to the wall workout week, but I have my best friend ever, Katie, coming into town, Blair's wedding (!!!!) and Chadd heading to Miami on Sunday.

Unlike my last bust week, I feel good about this one. I'm still making the workouts happen, but this time, with an eye on real life getting in the way...and being ok with it.

Maybe I'm more like a dolphin. Still moving a lot, but I'm learning to not feel like I'm going to die (or slip on my training) when I have a rough week.

Race Calendar

I have a really bad habit of signing up for major races then overbooking myself. I always enjoy the races, always feel accomplished, but sometimes when I'm tired, I look at my calendar and go....fuuuuuuuu

Today happens to be one of those days!

Current race plans:
March 10 - Four Courts Four Miler (thankfully my coach only has me running 4 easy before this race instead of the 12 I'd tried to map out so I could hit my 16)
March 17 - Rock and Roll Half Marathon

April - TBD (anyone have any good recs for fun April races? Nothing too crazy, I'm winding down marathon training this month)

May 6 - Flying Pig Marathon
May 11-12 - Ragnar Cape Cod (formerly, NE)
May 27 - Boston Memorial Half (which I will get to run with my bff Katie!)

June 8-9 - Ragnar Chicago
June 15-16 - Ragnar Wasatch Back (tentative)

July - Nothing on the books - any suggestions?

August 5 - Ironman 70.3 National Harbor
August 17-18 - Ragnar Great River

September 21-22: Ragnar DC
September 28-29: Ragnar Adirondacks (formerly, NY)

As far as major races go, that's:
Half Marathons: 2
Marathons: 1
Ragnar: 6
Half Ironman: 1

There's a duathlon on July 15th that's like...26 miles of biking and I think 6 miles of running. Could be fun.

I'm supposed to send this list to my coach and have her say yes/no...I'm betting she's going to keep me in line :)

Rest Day

I quit my job yesterday.

I wasn't blogging regularly back when I got this job, so that might not sound like as big of a deal as it is. I started with my current employer on January 11th of this year. You did the math - I've been here a little more than a month. I won't talk much more about this because I really do enjoy the people that I work with, but in the end, the opportunity I'm taking is a much better fit and I'm really excited about it.

In the short term, I'm so thankful for the mini-vacation that I get over the weekend. Instead of having to go to work on Monday, my new company takes that day off...and I also decided not to start until Wednesday. Talk about getting some rest.

Tomorrow I have my 10 mile long run (at a 9:40 pace...this is going to be interesting) followed by a 45 minute swim then I'm going up to Baltimore to see some of my Ragnarians and then I'm going to Chadd's gym to support him while he tries out for Ninja Warrior. You can imagine how Sunday will look: restful.

It's interesting what letting someone else figure out your training schedule will do. I woke up at 5 this morning because for the past few days, I have been getting up at 5 to go to the gym, put in my time, and then come back for a 30 minute nap. Today, I had the luxury of sleeping in until 7:30. Unbelievable. I don't have a workout scheduled tonight. In fact, after the goodbye happy hour I'm going to, I intend to come home, throw on a pair of yoga pants and foam roll my legs and back until all the little kinks and knots are gone. It's a struggle to tell myself to not hit the gym tonight for an hour on the bike or something...but Coach T did tell me that the biggest adjustment for me would be training LESS.

I do feel 0 guilt, though. I'm looking forward to taking care of my very tired muscles and prepping for the abuse to come tomorrow (my first back to back workout!).

----

And I'm home. After nearly strangling whichever cat peed on the freshly laundered (but not folded) clothes, I can finally grab my foam roller and get to business. Tomorrow's schedule:

- 7:30 - 9:00 - 10 mile run
- 9:45 - 10:30 - Swim
- 1pm - lunch with Ayla and Justin
- afternoon: watching Chadd try out for ninja warrior

If I get lucky, I'll have time for some active release stretching and I can already tell you that it's going to hurt so good.